Perspectives II:  Facing The Possibility Of Another Surgery...By Jessica Goldner

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[Ed. Note:  The opinions expressed below are solely those of the author.  They do not represent the opinions of the editor, publisher, or this publication.  Anyone with a medical problem is strongly encouraged to seek professional medical care.]    

Arnold has caused lots of emotional ups and downs in my life.  I first showed signs when I was four. I fainted in my Halloween costume. Then nothing happened for years.  I was a slow learner but school specialists said, “I was dyslexic."  Then when I was around fifteen I started gaining weight and never stopped. Doctors said,  "I was depressed", so I went on Prozac.  When I was about twenty years old chronic fatigue started hitting me really bad. I did not do much with my life.  The doctors just said "I was fat."  Then when I was twenty-five I got disgusted with my life and went to community college.

I started studying Animal Science.  I showed horses for ten years of my life. I always had dogs. It was my dream to go to vet school.  So anyway school was really hard.  I would study and I would get migraines and my right side would be in pain and then my brain would shut down.  I got sick of trying and studying for four years and having the teachers thinking that I was an idiot.   I was basically failing the classes.  So I decided to work at a vet clinic.

That is when I got really sick.  I was twenty-eight years old and I was working at a vet clinic.  I loved my job.  I would come home in tears because my migraines would be so bad.  I would have such a hard time waking up in the morning to get to work.  I think it was complete love for the job that got me there. I look back now and don’t know how I did it.  My head and neck would hurt so badly.  I just kept quiet.

Well a few months later I got sicker and I started fainting more.  My migraines got worse.  Then July of 2002 I fainted and got the king of all migraines and had to end up in the ER.   That was when my parents made me go see a neurologist.  He ordered MRI's and the next day I got my diagnosis of Arnold Chiari.  I was happy because I always knew I was not lazy and that there was something wrong with me.

October 4, 2002 I had my decompression surgery.  I am now living a different life.  I can’t drive and do a lot of things.  But I am grateful to be alive.  I am now possibly awaiting my second operation.  The thought of going through another brain surgery is very scary but I have total faith in my doctors.  I know it is going to be a long recovery.  But it is going to be a longer life living in the condition that I am in.  I get frustrated sometimes.  But when I do I just think about how lucky I am because now I get to do my second passion and that is writing.  If I were healthy I would still be working at the clinics.  Even though  I miss working with the animals I have my own.  Now I have a chance to help people through writing.  Being sick has taught me that you have to go for dreams.  Even though I am in pain everyday.  I just find something to be grateful for.  When I get scared.  I just close my eyes and somehow know that it will be okay.  If that does not work I go for a walk. The most important thing is that you have faith in your doctors and your neurosurgeon.

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